Life is like a Box of Ballons!

You never know what you are gonna get until you blow it up!

Welcome to Air India!

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.

This is your captain Shyam.
Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air
India.

We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due
to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.

This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed,
but we will end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in our
favour, we may even be landing on your village.

Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety
standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly
with us!

It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over
30% of our passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request,
we can arrange to turn them off.

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we
serve complimentary DARU (Liquor) and Wada pav (Snack).

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline
who can help you find out if there really is a God.

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie ( Ghar
Ghar Ki Khani and Kyuki Saas bhi ) will not be shown as we
forgot to record it from the television.

However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to
Emirates Airline, where their movie will be visible from the
right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see
in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines
telling us to slow down.

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close
as possible for the best view. If however, we go a little too
close, do let us know.

Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the
landmark.

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for
take-off and fasten your seat-belt.

For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten
your own belt to the arm of your seat.

And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate
to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to
fasten yourself to your suitcase."

ENJOY AIR INDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Future of Traffic Lights?

What you shouldn't do when filling in an interview form...

Name: Ah Beng
Age: Still young

Sex: Never. Still under age
Religion: I only have experience praying my cat who dead 2 years before

Race: I love to race, how you know?
Nationality: I don't like National, I prefer Sanyo

IC Number: 6735
Telephone number: House no telephone

Hand phone number: 3310
Address: Penang Jelutong

City : Nor Haliza?
Postcode: I never post anything

State: In my family, I am 2^nd
Country: I love to travel to Canada

Marriage status: Secret
Email Address: Hotmail

Education Background: My teacher said not bad
Working experience: Last time got sell pirated VCD

Father's name: Daddy
Father's IC: You ask him

Mother's name: Mummy
Mother's IC: You ask her

Current Salary: Depends on my daddy mood
Expected Salary: As much as you can pay

When can start work: Depends on my mood
Highest qualification: Ya, very high

Grade: Ya, very high
College/University: College
Signature: Can I use chop?

***FAINT***

Chinese Eye Test!

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling
the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese.

It works !!!!!

Bring your own cup!

OFFICE MEMO:

All staff - please note that due to recession, each employee will only be allowed one drink per person at this year's Annual Party.

And please bring your own cup!

Regards,

Management

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
And what happened at the annual party !!! (Scroll down)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*